Sex Ed
by Pyrofrickenmaniac
Summary: There is a mandatory Sex Ed orientation for all Dalton students which means Kurt and Blaine have to attend as well! And the teacher, Ms. Holly Holliday. Condom usage. Lots of Klaine action. T for suggestive themes. Humor. One-shot


"This is going to be absolutely pointless," Kurt grumbled to Blaine as half the junior class was shuffled into the auditorium. Many were already joking about how lame the presentation would be. It was an _all boys_ school, what did they need this for?

He and Blaine took seats in the back rows were they could play with the apps on Kurt's iPhone. The two weren't dating (much to Wes and David's dismay) but were still extremely good friends and did almost everything together.

A loud squeal sounded as the microphone was adjusted followed by "Ello clase!"

Kurt looked up from his heated match of Tic-Tak-Toe. "I know her," he gasped as Blaine cheated and won.

"Yeah?"

"She's Holly Holliday, she substitutes for... well everything."

The blonde woman bounced around the auditorium as silence fell over the crowd. "I am Holly Holliday and I will be your Sex Education teacher for the next three classes! Hello!"

She was greeted with a mumbled chorus of "Hello, hey, erm."

The Dean stepped up to the small podium and cleared his throat. "Okay, everybody, I want all of you to give Ms. Holiday your undivided attention. As most of you know, Rupert Lauer a senior in Dalton, impregnanted a student of a nearby school. Contraception and disease awareness has come to our attention so our staff has decided to have these classes. Ms. Holliday will only be here for three classes and you will have a graded test later."

Some groans. The Dean shook Holliday's hand again then left, leaving her to a giant group of Dalton boys. Holly smoothed her hair into a pony-tail and everyone was quiet as the lone adult collected herself. She turned to the crowd of about 125 boys and began. "So, why am I here? Personally, I think this is pretty stupid because you're all guys here so there isn't as much sexual tension compared to public schools. _But_, I do understand that since you are in an all-boys school, it just makes you want to get out and do the dirty even more like Rupert did!"

The room exploded from laughter from her blunt explanation. Blaine smiled and leaned back in his seat, amused. Kurt rolled his eyes and started up his Angry Birds app.

"That's what I thought!" she said with a smile. "Now what is sex? Well, it's a feeling of release and it feels awesome and it makes babies. But I hope everyone here is smart about this though because you're all very smart and you don't want to get a girl knocked up-"

Kurt sighed again as Ms. Holliday continued. "Think we can leave?" Kurt whispered to Blaine. " 'Excuse me, but I'm not getting a woman knocked up anytime soon because I like penis,' " he said in a goofy tone.

Blaine nudged him. "Comon, lighten up. Yeah you, me, and another handful of guys here are gay, but this is sorta funny."

The lights dimmed as a screen rolled down from the ceiling. The glow of Kurt's iPhone was too noticeable for the low lighting now and he put it away, grumbling as he did so. Kurt crossed his arms angrily.

To calm his friend, Blaine rested his head on Kurt's shoulder. Kurt smiled and stretched his arm across the Blaine's own shoulders. "Okay, I'll stay." Kurt stopped listening to Holliday and only focused on how nice it felt having Blaine leaning on him.

Pictures of the male and female reproductive systems flashed on the screen then suddenly the lights turned all the way up again. Blaine shifted back to his regular position and Kurt held back a frown, but he kept his arm on the back of Blaine's chair.

"Who wants a condom?" Holiday exclaimed holding up the largest box of condoms anyone had ever seen before. Even Kurt laughed at her forwardness. She strode up and down the stairs throwing condoms down the aisles for the boys. "Make sure to take a couple so you get the right size!"

She got to the top and looked between Kurt and Blaine, noticing Kurt's arm draped behind Blaine. She personally handed a giant handful to Kurt. "I think you're gonna need these," she said jokingly.

Kurt blushed bright red and the guys near them hollered. "Whoa! Kurt Hummel: stud!"

She patted Kurt on the arm. "Hey Kurt, how are you liking this new school?" Kurt shrugged and responded with a generic "Okay."

"And is this your..." she trailed off, gesturing with her box at Blaine. Blaine made a small wave.

"Hi, I'm Blaine, a _very_ good friend of Kurt's."

Holliday sighed and handed the nearly-empty box to Blaine. "Just take them all. Now you take care of Kurt you hear?"

Both boys broke out laughing as she scampered away, a giant box of condoms on Blaine's lap. Kurt rifled through the box, pulling out different colors. "I can make a mosaic out of these."

"Or we could use them..." Blaine said softly, looking up at Kurt who was blushing insanely. Kurt wanted to ask him out right there, but he was distracted by the woman again.

She clapped her hands together when she was back on the floor. "We're going to do an exercise now to practice putting condoms on. Everyone, unzip your fly-"

"WHAT!"

"KIDDING! Kidding, just kidding!" She backtracked. "I swear, it was just a joke."

"Aw," Blaine whispered. "And I wanted to see Kurt's dick!"

Kurt snorted, trying to hold back laughing again.

"But we are going to do a partner activity where you will take these pottery finger-gloves, A-K-A finger-condoms and put one on the hand of person next to you."

Blaine shoved Kurt playfully, the two being the only people in the top middle row. "Ew! Get this gay away from me," he joked.

Kurt smirked and pushed him back. "Ew, I don't want to be partners with this fairy!" he teased back.

A box of pottery gloves were passed around and they were instructed to take a few of the half-inch plastic discs. Holliday described the technique of putting a condom on and let the boys do the activity.

"Here Blaine, I told you they made condoms in your size!" Kurt said sarcastically to the dark-haired boy.

Blaine stuck his tongue out. "Please, seven of these wouldn't cover me when I'm limp," he said nonchalantly, a teasing note at the end.

Kurt blushed again, thankful for the bad lighting in the high seats. As Kurt fished some out, Blaine took one of his pottery gloves and blew it up, aiming it at Kurt's face then letting go. It hit Kurt's face with a wet slapping sound and Blaine almost fell out of his chair in giggles.

"Alright Carrot-Top, wrap me," Kurt said, holding out his dainty hand. Blaine took his hand and swiftly rolled one of the plastic pieces onto Kurt's lithe middle finger.

"Did you do it right?" Kurt asked, flipping Blaine his latex-covered bird. Blaine used his own fingers to rub them up and down Kurt's middle digit suggestively.

"I think so."

Kurt took a breath to calm himself and squeaked out, "My turn." Not paying attention, he pulled out a pottery glove designed for pinkies and tried putting it on Blaine's pointer.

"You have thick fingers," Kurt grumbled, trying to stretch the disc only causing it to rip. Blaine handed him another one, the correct size.

"Too bad I left my lube in my dorm then," Blaine teased.

Kurt emitted a shaky laugh, forcing himself to not think about what else he could do with Blaine and some lube.

Becoming bold, Kurt pursed his lips and said, "I suppose _this_ will just have to do for now," and he took Blaine's finger and slid it into his mouth, quickly swirling his tongue around it. Kurt tasted hints of soap (thankfully) and plastic from the condoms.

When Kurt drew back, he was met with the satisfaction of Blaine's dilated pupils and shocked-yet-turned-on expression. Kurt quickly rolled the glove on and his eyes flicked from Blaine to his lap nervously.

Blaine shifted in his seat and cleared his throat. "Kurt-"

"Hey guys!" Wes called.

They turned to look at Wes and David who sat in the row in front of them.

"Wll you two just fuck already?" David threw another handful of condoms at the gay students. "You're already undressing and raping each other with your eyes, might as well just do it!"

Kurt bit his bottom lip the same time that Blaine did. They smiled.

"Well we wouldn't want all these to go to waste," Kurt said.

* * *

**[3 weeks later]**

Wes and David both had pillows over their heads as the loud thumping from Kurt's dorm started up again.

"I blame you," David said.

"You're the one who gave them the extra ones!"

"Well when they said 'I don't want them to go to waste' I didn't think they meant it literally!"

"Has it been a years worth of condoms yet?" Wes groaned, hitting his fist on the wall. "Shut-up!"

David giggled from sleep deprivition. "And the funny part is that they started dating three weeks ago, but began butting-uglies only about a week ago!"

Wes raised an eyebrow. "How is that funny?"

David laughed again. "Blaine bought condoms with me when we went to Walmart yesterday because he said he was running out of the free ones from the orientations."

"_Got that right!_" Blaine yelled through the thin walls of their dorm.

"_Oo! Blaine this one sparkles!" _Kurt giggled.

* * *

**Just some fun since we're going to have to go TWO WHOLE WEEKS without a new Glee episode! :c**

**I hope you liked this! I have other Klaines on this profile!**

**PLEASE REVIEW! I DON'T CARE IF IT'S BEEN, LIKE, 30 YEARS SINCE THIS HAS BEEN POSTED! YOU CAN STILL TAKE 5 SECONDS TO REVIEW!**


End file.
